In a few months' time, I felt ready to take on higher plateaus of DXM. My favorite plateau is a low-mid third, specifically 8 Coricidin Cold & Cough and one 4 oz bottle of syrup. Kroger's store brand is actually really easy to get down. I guess I'm lucky because I've been dexing for a year and a half and I don't have trouble with downing cough syrup or gels. Although, I cannot stand Zicam, and I can't take 2c-e without gagging. Go figure.
Note: Text written in [brackets] are side notes added at the time of compiling this blog entry.
Wow. Let me just say that as I type this I am haunted by the fucking nastiest smell of vomit ever, at my feet. This is written in the afterglow of a god damn whatthefuck trip.
11:17 p.m.
Took just over 700mg of DXM via 1.5 bottles of RoboGels and a little more than ½ a bottle of RoboCough Syrup.
I was chatting on Ventrilo, Stickam, and MSN messenger.
11:47
It starts kicking in, harder than hell. I swear every time I do this it comes on even faster than the time before.
12:07 ...
So nauseous that I had to lay down
(The rest of these times are rough approximations)
12:20
That shit hit me SO FUCKING HARD. I know it could have been worse but still.. Okay, so I barfed. Like five barfs in a row. I looked over at my trashcan thinking “Wow I should really go get that trash can so I’m not attempting to clean up barf when I’m fucking gone.”
Before I could manage to pull myself up, I just leaned over and HURRRRRRRKKKKKKEEEDDDDD all over the floor in front of me. I remember it splashing on my feet and me not caring. There was no pain in barfing like there usually is. It just poured out of me over and over again like a demon spirit.
I kept thinking I could see ‘shards of glass’ in my vomit. When inspected later, I found out that it was noodles from lunch, when I had Thai food. The barf was bright red/pink, and I think I yacked 5 or 6 times there. I threw up right next to a sticker off of some clothes, so I thought I had thrown the sticker up, too, which confused me.
Somehow I managed to throw a towel over the mess and sprayed some Febreeze on it.
12:30 am
I tried calling a friend but to no avail. I also dialed the number “13” by accident. Eventually J got a hold of me and I proceeded to talk to him for as long as I can remember.
Once I could answer the phone and started talking to J, I left my computer. I kept asking him if I was online, and he would tell me no.
[Looping thoughts galore with this trip. It was very difficult for me.]
12:45 am
I staggered over and shut my laptop. With the last of my sensibility I managed to put it in my school bag and zip it up, AND move the bag out of my way. At the time I didn’t understand why I did this, other than an inexplicable urge.
Thinking back, I’m glad I did that, otherwise I could have broken my laptop, and I would have definitely tripped over the bag where it was before.
1:00 am
I was afraid to get off of the phone with J because I thought I wouldn’t be able to find my phone again and I would be alone on this devastatingly intense trip.
He told me that I was stuck in loops around this time, asking if he really loved me, why he loved me, if we would be together forever, if we would get married, what time it was…. And I was always so pissed off when he would tell me only a few minutes had passed. But he did tell me that he loved me and that I was beautiful and we were meant to be, and that he would marry me and we would be together forever.
[Look where we are now ;D]
2:00 am The dogs
barked and barked and barked all night. I thought that it was because they knew I was fucked (it seems like the dogs always make the most noise when I'm trying to trip). My mother kept waking up up and it was crazy. I took the dogs out and brought them in, like, twice while I was dexed.
At one point the house would not stop kreaking and it was freaking me the fuck out. My room started turning into a grid and would twist and turn as waves of psychosis washed over me.
2:30 am
My mother came in my room and was talking to me. I wondered if it was a hallucination. She asked if there was someone in my closet and she asked about the chair that my friends and I found by the Wildlife Preserve in our town. The conversation went like this:
o “Why are those dogs barking!?”
o “I don’t know mom.”
o “Get off the phone”
o “ What do you mean? I’m off the phone.”
o “Where did that chair come from?”
o “(A) gave it to me”
o “Where did (A) get it?”
o “We found it.”
o “What? Where?”
o “We were driving and we saw it and we got it”
o “That’s filthy. That chair stinks. Why would you bring it here?”
o “Im sorry, mom. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
And then she left, which I was glad for. I kept trying to sit up to see if she was sitting with me, and I thought for sure she knew I was dexed. I thought she would be sitting in my chair, watching me, waiting for me to try to call J back, or to show proof that I was dexed. I shoved my box under my bed further and curled up and shut my eyes, unable to sleep, waiting for 20 minutes until I finally felt safe enough to call J back.
3:00 am
I was just talking to J and telling him how I felt and what was going on. I told him a big long story about some clients I had worked with and some details about my life that were really irrelevant. I also told him about my exes. He told me that he talked about his exes too, but I was so far gone that I couldn’t remember a word he said. I felt bad.
4:00 am
I finally got off the phone with J, since he was really tired and I was determined to get some sleep.
I laid in bed for at least another hour (not sure of the time I passed out exactly), fighting my mind. My heart was beating crazy fast and I didn’t know what to do, I kept trying to breath slower and deeper and try to calm down, but it was out of my control. I attempted to call my friend Fallen and ask him what to do, but there was a 420chan meet up for him the same night, there was no way I was getting through to him. I thought for sure there was no way I would survive this trip.[mentally]
I kept thinking that I was going to wake up in rehab or my mom would be like “So… What were you on last night?”
Finally, I managed to put everything to the back of my head (or maybe I just blacked out completely?) and fell asleep. I woke up at 10 a.m. the next day, Still a little woozy but It was just the afterglow.
I have a new appreciation for sobriety now. Always respect the DXM.8th Trip: May 7, 2009
Woke up late, at noon, and rushed to dose 600mg in pills and syrup. I had wanted to wake up earlier so that I wouldn't run into my dad when he got home from work. I tripped until about 7 pm that night. But that's not really the important part.
Honestly I am pretty ashamed I didn’t really keep a report of this. This wasn’t a very pleasant trip. Made me want to stop doing DXM altogether. But I read back to my other trips, that were so pleasant and I realized that I need to give myself a break. DXM is a gift. We must respect it, use it, not abuse it, and use it for purposes that shall better ourselves, others, and our relationships with other humans.
THE FOURTH PLATEAU: July 9, 2009
Last night I had my first experience with the fourth plateau.
8:00pm Dosed 770mg in Robitussin Cough Syrup and a sheet of Coricidin Cold & Cough. The dose was potentiated with 2 tagamet and the prior day with 90 oz. of Grapefruit Juice.
The effects started coming on about 25 minutes later. It was the usual rush, I felt myself enter the 1st, 2nd, and eventually 3rd plateaus. I slowly rose up through the 3rd plateau. As soon as I hit just above midway, I had to excuse myself from stickam and go downstairs. I tried to lay on my bed for a moment, but I was having a faint feeling of nausea, urging me to retreat to the bathroom. I twisted on the faucet of the shower and went over to the toilet. I sat there staring at the shower curtain, flashes of black and white began mixing in. I would shut my eyes and still see the shower curtain. I stood, turned, and kneeled down in front of the toilet. What came next was a rush of the most chaotic and peaceful feelings I’ve ever had in my life.
I grabbed the sides of the toilet bowl and vomited into it. I was coming up hard to the top of the 3rd plateau. As I gripped the toilet seat and rested my head on my forearm, I let loose another wrenching barf and was pushed into the 4th plateau. Everything flashed a fuzzy black and purple, and I could see my friend, C, in my peripheral, laying on his side, eating a mango, and watching me barf. My world went sideways.
The fuzzy purple and black soon turned to flashes of white and black again as I threw up several more times. C was still there with me, wordlessly telling me that I was fine and this was normal, I could take this. I was having extreme abdominal pain and cramps now, so much so that I wanted to jab a knife into myself to make it stop, but I didn’t. I threw up twice more and flushed it down. Things simmered back down into the top of a 3rd plateau and I carefully made my way back to my room.
I shut the door and flopped down onto the bed in the center of the room. My back began tingling, and I could feel sweat beads forming all over my body. The next thing I knew, I was drenched in sweat. I began turning in my bed, clutching blankets and pillows and twisting sheets. I entered the 4th once again as I felt my bed envelope me. My vision sparkled black and blue and purple. I shut my eyes and I saw the details of my room vividly. I saw things that were behind me. I moaned in pain a few times and clutched my stomach as the cramps intensified. I lay in bed a while unmoving, slowly coming down from the 4th back into 3rd. I lay there focused, intent upon removing the abdominal pain from my body. I felt it rise up out of my stomach, freeing me. As soon as I felt the relief, the pain came back on.
I stood and walked upstairs, staggering to the couch. Laying down, I felt the cramps return. I cycled through the onset of the pain and the pain lifting away about seven times before I finally came down to a mid 3rd and the pain released. I made my way back to my laptop and continued hosting. From here I came down quickly and gently. It was only 11:45 when I had returned.
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